I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize