Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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