And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize