I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize