Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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