If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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