DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize