Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i love accidental penises.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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