i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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