Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize