how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize