my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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