I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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