The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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