Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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