I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize