If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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