The maid of honor just puked.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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