i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize