Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize