I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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