When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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