Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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