are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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