Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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