my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
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I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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