I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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