my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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