I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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