I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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