lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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