4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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