sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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