I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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