Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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