1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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