apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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