take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize