OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize