Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
...so i touched it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
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she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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