I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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