Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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