I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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