i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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