i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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