Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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