covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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