I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize