you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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