Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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